Giving literary agents our best pitch

 (Updated 10:59 a.m. May 26, 2021, to add NoveList Plus information)

Which is scarier – writing a novel or pitching it to a literary agent? I would rather write 400 pages than a one-page query letter. Or, worse still, spend ten minutes talking to an agent about the project. The sensible thing would be to spend the rest of my life hiding under a rock. Instead, I signed up to make multiple pitches to agents at conferences this coming summer, knowing that some of them may (gulp!) ask me to send a written query.

Image by David Mark for Pixabay

It was enough to make me riffle through everything I’ve ever posted about pitches and query letters. I’ve sat with some of the best of the pitchers and queriers and know I can’t do better than to share their words, beginning with writer/organizer supreme, Adriane (Tex) Thompson, from her stint at last year’s WORDfest.

***

Tex organized query elements into: openings (1-2 sentences); hook (or as Tex noted helpfully, the “movie trailer” and story overview, 8-20 sentences); book data (title in capital letters, word count, genre and comp titles – 1-2 sentences); relevant author qualifications (1-2 sentences of  “what makes me uniquely qualified to write this”); and closing (thanks for consideration, etc., 1-2 sentences).

On comp (comparative) titles, “Show you know what’s happening in your genre,” Tex said. Don’t list more than two titles, at least one of which should be a book, published within the last five years. (Hint: unsure what titles to compare to? Ask your beta readers. Or see the second part of this post for more suggestions.) 

On the question of relevant author qualifications, Tex’s litmus test was to ask, “does this make me uniquely qualified to write this?” Things that are relevant include membership in professional organizations and even a local writing group, “which shows that a person is serious.” (Hint: be sure the group’s online site will make it – and you – look good for being a member.) But if writers feel they truly have nothing, Tex assured, “It’s OK to skip this part. It’s better to go too little than too much.” 

Things she urged us not to include: bio fluff (kids, pets, hometown); value judgements (“groundbreaking,” “thrilling,” etc.); your mailing address or phone number (it’s email, remember); the agent’s mailing address or phone number; and any unnecessary white space. Don’t make the agent scroll any more than she has to. 

Tex’s six-point guide to the body of the query – the story overview was:

·       Status quo (ordinary world)

·       Disruption (inciting incident)

·       1^st big choice/solution

·       Consequences/fallout

·       2^nd big choice/solution

·       Stakes/ “or else” (But don’t give away the ending!) 

Keeping these elements in mind, Tex said, will also help when the time comes to write back cover blurbs. In fact, she recommends writing (but not send) queries even before the book is completed, to be sure the story is meeting all the needed elements. “It’s never too early to encapsulate the story!” 

***

 Even before hearing Tex’s presentation, I had dipped into the editors’ posts from a Revise & Resub #10Queries competition. And though it sometimes seemed as if, for every 10 editors in a room there were 20 answers on how to write a perfect query, some issues in the submitted query letters appeared often enough to generate consensus. 

Issues such as: conflict – whether it’s a fistfight or a galactic war. And stakes – what will be gained or lost by the conflict. Conflict and stakes are the heart of stories, but one editor after another posted comments like: “conflict is unclear. What’s at stake?” Or, “motivation and stakes for the main character need to be upped. What are the personal stakes if they don’t succeed?” Or, “focus on conflict and stakes and what makes them unique.” 

But can’t a writer just narrate to the reader – agent or editor – what happens in the novel? Won’t that cover the issues of conflict and stakes? 

Sorry, as any reader of this blog – or attendee at the Dallas-Fort Worth Writers Conference infamous query gong shows knows -- spending significant query real estate on plot still may not make clear why the characters are running around like Energizer bunnies. 

#10Queries editors weren’t as brutal as agents at the gong show contest about saying that what they read was sometimes too darn long. They used more diplomatic language such as “heavy on setup and introducing characters but. . .” And “too many details about the story but at the same time is too vague on the important points.” Or, “feels more like narrative than tight, concise query.” Or the just plain, “simplify.” 

So far, it may sound as if the editors were focused on the what than the who of authors’ queries. Not so. Remember those “personal stakes” mentioned earlier? So, editors also included such comments as, “give us more of (the main characters’) motivation,” and “tell us why they care about the particular event in the query.” Or, “Clear goals but no motive. . . goals are nothing if the character doesn’t have a reason for the goal.” 

Editors also wanted to meet the characters who have those goals right away. (To fit this into Tex Thompson’s formula mentioned earlier, name the characters in the opening first or second sentence, or even in the hook.) One editor gave a “hm” to a writer who didn’t mention the main character until the second paragraph (but recovered with sharp voice and wit). 

And on the issue of the unlikable character one editor noted, “the woe-is-me character right from the get-go makes him a bit unlikable. . . I want an emotional connection before I can agree that him dying would be a bad idea.” 

One editor also posted a “random thought” about two issues that have always bothered me – “the importance of hooks and comp titles.” 

Obviously, a hook is something that will immediately catch a reader’s attention, but what does it take to do that? As someone who’s tried starting with action only to receive a “meh” response, I dug further and found this answer (of a sort) at the site  Literary Devices: “. . . not all hooks are based in action. They can also present a character, or group of characters with interesting traits, a thematic opening statement, or a mysterious and intriguing setting.” 

Beware though – in a query letter, that hook had better be short! 

And comp – that is, comparison – titles? Editors at #10Queries could say that a writer’s comps were “amazing!” as well as note that they were “a bit unfamiliar.” 

Probably like most writers, I feel that my stories are unique. What can we possibly find to compare them to? Reedsy – among other resources – makes suggestions, including dos and don’ts for comp titles. 

My personal suggestions are to check Goodreads followups of the “you finished X, now what” variety, and Amazon listings of books bought by those who read the books we loved to read. And then, of course, to actually look at the suggested books.
 

And then there’s the easy stuff – sometimes easy to forget. Don’t make the query, as one editor noted, “difficult on the eye,” with small fonts and chunks of italics. And don’t forget to include – early on – the age of the target readers, the book’s genre, word count and title – the last in all capitals.

***

Why do I always find this stuff AFTER I post a blog? The absolutely, no contest, hands down, best locator for comparative (comp) titles for literary queries -- NoveList Plus. Customizable "appeal" search with multiple options. And it's free with your library card (at least at Dallas Public Library). Go to your account, click on Database Descriptions and Links. Limit by readership age, fiction/nonfiction, genre, character, publication date. . . and more!