One of the most anticipated events at each year’s DFW Writers’ Conference in Hurst, Texas, is the Gong Show. That’s the chance for writers to submit sample query letters anonymously for feedback by literary agents. Each agent has a small gong at hand. As the mellow baritone of reader George “The Voice” Goldthwaite intones each entry, agents may strike their gongs at the point in the query where they would stop reading if it appeared in their inboxes. If queries elicit three gongs, as they usually do, the reading ends, and the agents explain what provoked them.
Last year, for the first time in the history of the conference gong show, a writer avoided gonging out. This year, two avoided the common fate, two writers who have taken past gong show lessons to heart, crafting their queries to avoid the pitfalls. Goldthwaite was able to read one query from start to finish with only two gongs. And one, one golden query, made it all the way without drawing the sound of even a single gong.
What worked? What didn’t?
“It was so different I had to hear how it ended,” was the consensus of agents about the no-gong query, for the story of an elderly gardener who finds her precious tomato plants uprooted by a vintage Bentley conjured through an alien transport system. In a world overpopulated by stories about paranormal beings, teenage angst, and magical objects, this was something new.
The other query to escape gonging out, although by a narrower margin, was a young adult historical fantasy set in China. And every agent on the panel who handles fantasy wanted it. The query letter “went into clichés occasionally, but it worked,” said agent Donald Maass. Eddie Schneider of JABberwocky Literary Agency said he struck his gong because of some lack of clarity in the query letter, not because of problems with the underlying story, “which sounds awesome. I would be delighted to take a look.”
That lack of clarity and descent into clichéd statements, in fact, were two of the most common problems agents cited. Even some queries that received the dreaded three gongs had fans among the agents. But in most cases, if the stories behind the queries didn’t sound as wonderful as the Chinese fantasy, a signal for writers to polish their queries, and possibly their manuscripts.
Other common complaints included flat characters, excessive back story, and lack of apparent conflict in the plot description.
And then there was the “seen too much of it” complaints. These included ghosts, demons and the afterlife; magical objects; “chosen one” protagonists; boarding schools for wizards or other paranormal beings; and anything to do with mermaids, which agents say they see too often or know to be already clogging the publishing pipeline. And to that list, add extraterrestrial beings. Unless, of course, they mess with a crochety gardener’s tomato patch.
In addition to Maass and Schneider, panel participants were Emily M. Keyes of Foreword Literary, Sarah Negovetich of Corvisiero Literary Agency, Laura Zats of Red Sofa Literary, and editor Amanda Rutter of Angry Robot Books, who says, no matter how her colleagues feel, she’s “still on board for vampires, werewolves and angels.”
(Next Monday -- more from DFW, including tips from agent Donald Maass’s pre-conference workshop based on his latest book, Writing 21st Century Fiction.)
Showing posts with label The Gong Show. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Gong Show. Show all posts
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday, May 21, 2012
Wordcraft -- Gonged for a good cause
Among the most-anticipated events at this past weekend’s DFW Writers’ Conference in Hurst, Texas, was the Gong Show. There were also a rousing keynote speech, informative classes, and chances to “pitch” to literary agents -- that is, persuade them to take a look at a piece of writing with the hope they’ll represent the author to publishers.
But nothing thrills writers more than hearing their work, or that of their colleagues, ridiculed over a public address system.
The original Gong Show was a 1970’s TV review of amateur talent whose judges ended performances in front of a nationwide audience by striking a gong. The DFW conference’s version was less brutal, although the conference’s 2012 chairperson, Jason Myers, said some writers left in tears last year. (I saw no tears this time around.)
The show’s real purpose is to demonstrate something of immense help to writers -- what kinds of writing samples and query letters agents like, or more especially, dislike, receiving from writers.
Participants dropped a query letter or the first page of their novels into a box anonymously, for later reading before a panel of agents serving as judges. A sample continued to be read until at least three agents struck their gongs, and then explained their decisions.
There was some variation in tastes. One dazed but happy author of a memorably-gonged nonfiction query lived to see four agents in the audience -- not on the panel -- ask for samples of his work.
But no others were so lucky. What follows is a compilation of brutally honest comments, which I’ll leave without attribution, for the safety of the agents involved.
The biggest turnoff was any use of clichés -- of words, phrases, or situations. Please
pledge after me never to open a novel, or a query letter, by having a character awaken from a dream. Agents invariably considered this a failure of imagination. A sample comment: “I really loathe novels that start with ‘I woke up.’”
Also getting the gong of death: novels starting with descriptions of weather, no matter how dramatic. And agents found clichés in things I’d never think of, probably because I haven’t read thousands of unpublished manuscripts. An agent who deals with young adult (YA) fiction gonged for novels opening with a character’s move to a new place. Think demons who whisper temptation over the heroine’s shoulder have never been done before? They are, an agent said, “the modern version of ‘a dark and stormy night.’’
Other dislikes cited more than once were “boring,” “didn’t thrill me,” and “predictable” writing.
But although an agent said, “I look to reject because I’ve got 2,000 queries behind yours. You really have to make it pop,” authors also got the gong for “overwriting,” “trying too hard,” and “purple” prose. One agent, for instance, gonged a novel whose character “peeled her face” off a window pane in the opening page. After all, in some genres, face peeling can be a literal event.
Finally, an agent advised sidestepping the repeated crime of “creepiness,” even in the opening of horror novels, with a memory aid that may offend the weak of stomach, but spare others the heartbreak of rejection. It is: to avoid “the three p’s -- pee, puke, and pooh.” After all, dear protagonist, if we don’t know you yet, we don’t want to meet you first in that condition.
But nothing thrills writers more than hearing their work, or that of their colleagues, ridiculed over a public address system.
The original Gong Show was a 1970’s TV review of amateur talent whose judges ended performances in front of a nationwide audience by striking a gong. The DFW conference’s version was less brutal, although the conference’s 2012 chairperson, Jason Myers, said some writers left in tears last year. (I saw no tears this time around.)
The show’s real purpose is to demonstrate something of immense help to writers -- what kinds of writing samples and query letters agents like, or more especially, dislike, receiving from writers.
Participants dropped a query letter or the first page of their novels into a box anonymously, for later reading before a panel of agents serving as judges. A sample continued to be read until at least three agents struck their gongs, and then explained their decisions.
There was some variation in tastes. One dazed but happy author of a memorably-gonged nonfiction query lived to see four agents in the audience -- not on the panel -- ask for samples of his work.
But no others were so lucky. What follows is a compilation of brutally honest comments, which I’ll leave without attribution, for the safety of the agents involved.
The biggest turnoff was any use of clichés -- of words, phrases, or situations. Please
pledge after me never to open a novel, or a query letter, by having a character awaken from a dream. Agents invariably considered this a failure of imagination. A sample comment: “I really loathe novels that start with ‘I woke up.’”
Also getting the gong of death: novels starting with descriptions of weather, no matter how dramatic. And agents found clichés in things I’d never think of, probably because I haven’t read thousands of unpublished manuscripts. An agent who deals with young adult (YA) fiction gonged for novels opening with a character’s move to a new place. Think demons who whisper temptation over the heroine’s shoulder have never been done before? They are, an agent said, “the modern version of ‘a dark and stormy night.’’
Other dislikes cited more than once were “boring,” “didn’t thrill me,” and “predictable” writing.
But although an agent said, “I look to reject because I’ve got 2,000 queries behind yours. You really have to make it pop,” authors also got the gong for “overwriting,” “trying too hard,” and “purple” prose. One agent, for instance, gonged a novel whose character “peeled her face” off a window pane in the opening page. After all, in some genres, face peeling can be a literal event.
Finally, an agent advised sidestepping the repeated crime of “creepiness,” even in the opening of horror novels, with a memory aid that may offend the weak of stomach, but spare others the heartbreak of rejection. It is: to avoid “the three p’s -- pee, puke, and pooh.” After all, dear protagonist, if we don’t know you yet, we don’t want to meet you first in that condition.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)